'I'll never give up hoping he recovers': Wife of former professional footballer who suffered locked-in syndrome tells of his daily struggle
- - Former footballer Gary Parkinson has been paralysed for almost three years
- - Became gripped by locked-in syndrome after suffering a stroke
- - He and his wife have learned to communicate through him using his eyes
- - Debbie Parkinson has said she will never give up hope of him recovering
By JAMES RUSH
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The wife of a former footballer who was left paralysed since he was struck down with locked-in syndrome has said she will never give up hope of him recovering.
Debbie Parkinson, the childhood sweetheart and wife of 22 years of Gary Parkinson, has remained adamantly positive since the former Burnley FC player developed the syndrome almost three years ago.
Mr Parkinson, 45, can't move any part of his body but has learned to communicate by blinking at letters on an alphabet chart.
Debbie Parkinson has said she will never give up hope of her husband Gary recovering from locked-in syndrome
His wife has said: 'I still have lots of hope that he will come out of it. He’s got more movement in his face than he did, and seems to focus a lot more too and understands us.
'Nobody really knows a lot about the condition and there have been people who have come through it.'
Despite his condition Mr Parkinson has worked as a scout for his first team, Middlesbrough, by watching DVDs of them playing and blinking his verdict to his wife at his bedside.
Mr Parkinson suffered a brain stem stroke in 2010 which left him paralysed - leading to him suffering locked-in syndrome.
Despite doctors saying there was nothing they could do, Mrs Parkinson was given hope after seeing a flicker of movement in her husband's eyes.
She asked for him to be transferred to Priory Highbank Centre, near Bury, Greater Manchester, for neuro-rehabilitation, where he stayed for two years, before she finally won the battle to bring him home.
Gary Parkinson (pictured, right, with David Eyres, left, after winning the 1994 Division Two play-off final at Wembley with Burnley FC) has been left paralysed for almost three years
Now Mrs Parkinson has sad she will never give up hope that her husband will recover.
She said: 'There are many negative things that have been in the press about Tony Nicholson (who also suffered from locked-in syndrome and campaigned for the right to die) but we are staying positive and still want to keep going.
'Kate Allett (who has recovered following a stroke and subsequent locked-in syndrome) suffered in a similar way to Gary and she recovered and now educates the medical profession about the condition. She’s better than any doctors because she has been though it first-hand.
She’s made an amazing recovery and she’s an inspiration.
'The condition is still very rare but hopefully in the future more will be known and spoken about it.'
The couple, who have lived in Bolton most of their lives, met at school in their hometown of Stockton-on Tees, Middlesbrough.
'He can hear and see and makes us laugh sometimes. When the kids come home from school and ask if they can go on school trips he’ll tell them if they can go or not - just like any normal family'
- Debbie Parkinson
They married in June 1991 before having three children, Luke, aged 20, Chloe, aged 16, and nine-year-old Sophie.
They settled in Bolton in 1993 when Mr Parkinson transferred to Bolton Wanderers - and stayed there despite him also playing for Preston North End and Burnley.
In 2006, he started as Head of Youth Development at Blackpool FC - a job which Mrs Parkinson fears may have triggered the stroke he had four years later.
She said: 'Personally I think it was a bit of a shock to his system going from training to stopping it to do a high pressured coaching job.
'So perhaps the stress of that affected him. The doctors said it was possible. Who knows? No-one can say. The mind is a strange thing.'
One morning in September 2010 Mrs Parkinson woke to find her husband feeling unwell.
She said: 'He woke up at about 6am. He said he had a strange headache but wasn’t hung over - he hadn’t had a drink the night before.
'I went to get him some painkillers and when I got back he’d gone a strange colour, which is odd for him as his complexion is usually a lovely glow.
Mr Parkinson (pictured, right, playing for Preston North End in 1997) now needs 24 hour care after developing locked-in syndrome. His wife Debbie (left) has said she 'loves nothing better' than when her family are all together)
'I gave him a drink but he didn’t hold the glass properly. Something wasn’t right. I told him I was going to ring an ambulance.
'When he said, "hurry up" I knew it was serious.'
That day Mr Parkinson deteriorated from feeling ill to barely being able to open his eyes and was moved to intensive care.
Three days later Mrs Parkinson was given the news that her husband had suffered a massive stroke.
She said: 'I sat by his bedside willing him to wake up. Three days later we found out that he had a stroke and that he’d developed locked-in syndrome meaning that he was paralysed but cognitively all there.
'I've never wanted people to feel sorry for us. Of course I still have times where I feel down but I look at Gary and the children and they lift me and I realise that I don’t want to give in'
- Debbie Parkinson
'I couldn’t believe it at first. That kind of thing should have happened to a 60 something unfit man - not Gary.
'At the very beginning it was a very gloomy outlook. We were told that his life expectancy was just two to three months but he kept fighting.
'Then when his eyes opened in ICU I knew that something was there and we had something to fight for.'
After two years at the rehab centre, he was allowed back to the family’s Westhoughton home which has been adapted to accommodate his wheelchair and 24 hour care.
Mrs Parkinson said: 'On December 15 last year, Gary came home. It was the best Christmas we have ever had.
'All the presents didn’t matter because all our focus was on being a family again. We sent the carers home and had the day just to ourselves.
'I knew that it wouldn’t always be rosy, bringing him home, but I’m so glad we did. I didn’t want him to stay at a care home away from us for the rest of his life.
'He needs 24 hour care to help him do everything from getting changed to washing, so a carer lives with the family, which is hard because we’ve always been so private.
Despite his condition Mr Parkinson (pictured playing for Preston) has worked as a scout for his first team, Middlesbrough
'We had to build an extension and a three-floor lift so that Gary can easily get upstairs and we had to get a new car.
'Everything is so much better now he’s home. I can’t explain the horrendous wrench of leaving him each night at the hospital to go home without him.
'But now the best thing ever is to be able to say good night to him - all the kinds of things that families take for granted.'
When it comes to communicating, Mrs Parkinson uses his eyes to signal letters while Mrs Parkinson goes through the alphabet.
She said: 'His eyes are how he communicates. We literally go through the alphabet together to make the words he wants to say.
Mr Parkinson in a family portrait with Debbie, son Luke and daughters Chloe and Sophie
'He can hear and see and makes us laugh sometimes. When the kids come home from school and ask if they can go on school trips he’ll tell them if they can go or not - just like any normal family.
'We’re currently trialling a Toby 1 computer, like the one that Stephen Hawking has, to help him communicate quicker to the carers, although we’ll probably still use the alphabet because it’s more personal.
'It’s expensive though - about £11,000. But it is useful for him and will give him a voice.'
Mrs Parkinson has said the family are currently fundraising to help pay for his care - as well as trying to build his confidence to go out and watch a football game.
She said: 'Gary hasn’t been out to watch a football game since he had the stroke, but we are working towards that.
'Sport is never off the TV though - he loves his football, obviously, as well as cricket, and golf.
'The children are doing their own things too - Luke is doing a charity bike ride from Stockton-on-Tees to Blackpool and Chloe is doing a 5k run. I’m really proud of them. They have grown up and had to deal with so much over the last few years.'
She says she always thinks positively and believes he will continue to make progress and - hopefully - go on to make a full recovery.
'I’ve never wanted people to feel sorry for us. Of course I still have times where I feel down but I look at Gary and the children and they lift me and I realise that I don’t want to give in.
'I’ll take a little time out and go somewhere with the children and when I come back I’m back to my normal self.
'But usually I just want to be with Gary as much as I can. Occasionally we’ll venture out to an ice cream parlour near us for a treat.
'I love nothing better than when it’s just the five of us.'
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