29 November 2013

PARENTING - Top 10 Reasons Why Siblings Fight






Article by Kavya Parnami


Have you ever seen any sibling who does not fight? It is almost impossible to find such sibling that have not fought even once. Siblings usually do not need any reason to start their fight. They are ever ready to irritate each other and make fun of each other. These small issues turns big within seconds and then eventually lead to big fights which may sometimes even involve pulling one’s hair, slapping, pushing and what not. But this is also true that the faster these fights between siblings start, at an even faster rate they are resolved. But sometimes, these small fights may leave bitterness in their hearts which can destroy their relation and can thus lead to huge disputes which will not be easy to resolve. It is very important for the parents to avoid causing situations which later may destroy the beautiful and pure relation of siblings. Also, they should try and resolve the fights as soon as possible to avoid growing hard feelings between the siblings for each other. This article consists of the top ten reasons because of which siblings fight and also some tips for the parents to avoid such fights.
10. UNIQUE PERSONALITIES
unique personalities
Every child has a different personality. One may be very good in academics while the other may be excellent in sports. It is not necessary that every child has the same area of interest. Because of this varying personality many conflicts may arise which may ultimately leads to fights between siblings. Difference in personalities often leads to comparison between children by the parents which then tend to lead towards fights. This may also arouse the feeling of jealousy between the siblings which can even cause lifelong conflicts. It is very important for the parents to understand the difference in personalities of their children and also to appreciate the differences rather than comparing their children with one another as this is the most common reason of fights between siblings.
9. SHARING THINGS
sharing things
Another reason that may cause fights between siblings is sharing things with one another which may be toys, accessories, clothes and many more other things. Many a times there are some stuff that both the siblings use on sharing basis. Fights often arouse when either both of them need the same thing at the same time or when either of them has done some damage to the thing. This leads to fight as none of them will compromise and hand over the thing to the other one and also neither of them will admit their mistake and take the blame of the damage that has been done to the thing in the other case stated. Thus at the end the ultimate result will be fight between the siblings.
8. INEQUALITY
inequality
Inequality may also lead to fights between siblings. There are a thousand instances that children can mark as inequality may it be unequal number of punishments, hugs, outings, pocket money and many more. Even an extra marshmallow in the hot chocolate is treated as unequal treatment of the parents. Also, sometimes even parents on their part treat children differently due to their own reasons. All these things thus lead to fights between the siblings as they keep record of every small inequality done to them.
7. AGE DIFFERENCE
age difference
As we know that every age has its different benefits and everything is provided to us at a given age. But these things may lead to conflicts between siblings as they consider it as fairness issues. The elder one gets to attend late night parties with friends which may be considered as unequal treatment by the younger one. Similarly, the younger one is more pampered and also most of the times not scolded even after committing mistakes which may be treated as unfair treatment by the elder one. Also, the elder one is usually more protective and possessive towards the younger one which may sometimes lead to excess poking which is every time not acceptable by the younger one.  All such situations may cause differences between the siblings which subsequently lead to fights.
6. TELEVISION
television
Difference in personalities leads to different tastes and choices. One may like to watch cartoons while the other may like news or one may like serials while the other like watching cricket. It is not possible for every family to afford as many televisions as the number of children. Thus, at the end, the only thing happens is the fight for the remote control of the television as either of them is ready to adjust or cooperate. Television can therefore lead to fight at any instant even without a valid reason.
5. COMPETITION
competition
Children like it when their parents praise them or are proud of them. But this can also lead to conflict between the siblings. There is always a competition going on between the siblings of the smarter one, the talented one, the fastest one, the obedient one, the responsible one and almost for every single title that one can think of. Siblings often compete with each other on all such basis may it be grades, looks and what not which consequently lead to fights and can even cause a feeling of resentment between the siblings. To avoid this parents should appreciate both the children for their hard work and should avoid comparison.
4. PARENTAL ATTENTION
parental attention
Children love their parent attention and can do anything to get that. But this attention when given to only one child may lead to bitterness between the siblings. During such circumstances when one child is sick or may be one is weak in academics or when one is physically weak or under many other situations it becomes important to provide extra attention and care to that one child. Things circumstances can cause hard feelings in the other child and may thus lead to fights between the siblings. It is very important for the parents to avoid neglecting the other child completely and also to make the other child understand the situation so that fights because of attention issues can be avoided.
3. FRUSTRATION
frustration
Every person deals with day to day life stress. The only difference is that everyone deals with different kinds of stress which may be either exam stress or job stress or any other. This stress can sometimes make us restless and irritated. This frustration can also be a reason for siblings fight. As we know that siblings like irritating and teasing each other. But sometimes even small irritating things that are done in innocence by one of the sibling when gets mixed with the stress that the other person is facing can lead to fight between the two. Frustration and stress can thus also cause fights.
2. FOOD SHORTAGE
food shortage
Most of the times the shortage of food which are usually juice boxes, snacks, chocolates and all types of fast foods can also lead to fight between the siblings. Even an extra scoop of ice cream or an extra piece of fries can lead to pushing and bullying between the siblings which then turns out to be a big fight. It is very important for the parents to avoid such instances by dividing food equally among children, so that the children do not get any chance to start a fight as shortage or unequal distribution of food often leads to fight.
1. SPACE ISSUES
space issues
Siblings spend a lot of time together and when we are close to someone of the same age every now and then it usually becomes irritating sooner or later which then leads to fights. Also, everyone needs their space and privacy and extra interruption of any one of the sibling into the other one matter’s will definitely lead to fireworks which are not going to be of the good kind. Nowadays, even reading one’s messages or opening one wardrobe is considered as intruding and can thus cause fights between siblings.

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