Article by ankita pathak
You have been waiting for this date since the past few days. This is your first date together and you are worried about making a good first impression. You have made all the preparations you need to. Thought for hours about the restaurant you are dining at. Spent countless hours figuring out what to wear. Showered for such a long time as if you won’t get another chance to shower for at least a month! Stood in front of the mirror wondering if the make up’s too much or too less. Don’t worry, you haven’t gone mad. You just want this person to like you back. You haven’t felt this way for a very long time and suddenly, after all this time thinking that you don’t need anyone else for you to stay happy; you have realized that you want this person to be everything to you. You find him/her irresistible and there’s nothing more you would want at this point of time than for your date to go smooth and she/he reciprocates the same feelings for you. Well, everything’s alright but don’t you think you need to calm down a bit? A word of advice, keep the feelings in control and don’t be overwhelmed by them. The way this date turns out, your first impression and what your date perceives about you after tonight is going to determine your future together. What you speak and the way you speak is the most critical factor based on which your prospective better half judges you. Read on to know the 10 weird questions not to ask on the first date.
10.How do your parents earn a living ?
Money Matters! Questions like this will come across as interview-type questions. Questions on which you’re going to judge him/her. Does it matter what his/her parents do for work? No, it doesn’t! What’s more is that you don’t know anything about the relationship he/she has with them. Remember, you are there to seek love and not money. Such questions imply you are judging his/her financial status. It would be embarrassing for your partner if you ask them about their parents’ work on the first date. It could lead to awkward deadlocks, something I am sure you don’t want to happen on the first date!
9. Why are you so passionate about this?
Don’t ask them why they are passionate about particular things. There’s no point questioning if you don’t understand his/her point of view. Asking will do nothing but highlight the unlikeness. It would be better if you focus on what you two have in common. Get to know each other better. Then he/she will be more comfortable explaining his/her perspective. Everyone has his/her own obsessions. Understand that pretty well. They might appear weird to you but then who are you to question them? Some people have deep emotional attachments with certain things and it’s best to not bring up any such issue on the first date. Lack of understanding between you two might ruin further chances.
8. Can I borrow some money?
The person you’re with is a virtual stranger and asking to borrow money from them , even if it is a genuine emergency, is a no no. If you find yourself in a financial scrape; don’t even dream of asking your date for help. Rather Call a friend They don’t know you and asking for money will create an image of you as someone who is careless or, even worse, a scammer. Also, avoid arguing much on who will pay the bill. It’s perfectly alright if the guy does that. If both mutually decide to share, what can be better?
7.Do you believe in God?
Religion may be a critical factor for you, but there’s a time and a place to bring up spiritual matters.The first date definitely isn’t!. He she maybe a complete atheist unlike you and bringing up such questions will surely lead to fruitless arguments. Still, if such a topic is brought up, be calm while dealing with it. You aren’t proving your beliefs at a world conference; you are here on a romantic date! Behave like a secular, educated and religion tolerant person.
6.How were your previous dating experiences?
You can’t possibly think of anything more awkward on a first date than having to answer a questions enquiring about the last time they were on a date or the last time he/she had sex. The only thing you’ll do with that information is form an opinion about him/her. If he/ she says 6 months ago, you’ll wonder why he/she hasn’t dated anyone since then. An answer like “last week”, will make you think he/she is mendacious. But the simple fact is, none of that is any of your business! All you need to remember is that he’s/she’s choosing to be on a date with you implies he/she wants to know you. Focus on that, and give the relationship a chance to develop.
5.What do you think about marriage?
Don’t even bring the ‘m word’ up! You notice anything that would bring up the topic of marriage just bulge your eyes out, put a hand on your heart and groan with all the might you have. Drop down on the floor too if you are not so convincing! On a serious note, please don’t talk about marriage. You never know, your date might have been divorced. As warned before, the first date is definitely not the time to start digging up his/her past. Keep it buried. Your date might not be ready to settle down yet and talking about marriage will do nothing but make him/her uncomfortable. You mention this word and ninety nine times out of a hundred you will be dropping a bomb.
4.What are your views on Sex ?
Whether you’re asking about the sexual positions they prefer, or how many sexual partners they have had, all conversation about sex should be avoided until further down the time. I am sure you don’t want to come across as someone who is just looking for cheap thrills if what you’re really in search of is a lasting, committed relationship. When did you lose your virginity? Whoa! Way, way too personal. Don’t go there. In a nutshell, anything related to sex should be stayed away from. It usually creates a wrong impression. Such questions are a strict NO NO!
3. Do You Like Me ?
Obviously it’s the question we all want to know the answer to but it’s also the one you should never ask on the first date. You will seem needy and insecure. Instead of being direct, look for clues by observing their body language, conversation and manner towards you and you’ll have a better way of concluding whether they are attracted to you or not. If they ask for a second date, you will know that they would like to know more about you. There are people who like to go away and ponder about the way the date went before they decide if they want to see the person again, so be patient and not insist on an answer too soon. After all, good things come to those who wait.
2. What is your age/ salary/ dream family size?
No! NEVER! Rather avoid questions whose answer is a number. This includes age, how much he/she pays in rent, and how long he/she has been at the current job. Don’t ask how often he/she goes to the gym or how many children they may someday want. It’s not necessary to enumerate anything on the first date! Sharing too much is the biggest mistake people make and it can leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed. Remember that a first date is more of an introduction to help you decide if you want to meet again. It is undoubtedly not the time for you to jot down the numerical figures. Do not forget to give each other the required space!
1. Your Former Boyfriend/ Girlfriend.. ?
Good dates result from good energy. The best bet is to avoid bringing negativity into the discussion. Keep the past in the past. Bringing up questions like how long their last relationship was or why did they guys break up? Or whether they are still in touch with their ex or not are just too weird questions to be asked on a first date. You should remain as far as possible from such prying questions. First date is not the time to ask anything about previous relationships. Give them a chance to feel comfortable with you (at least a few dates) before asking about their past relationships. Isn’t it obvious that he/she is there with you because he/she is looking for a fresh start in life? Let that Happen!
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