31 May 2013

CUSTOMER SERVICE - Retail Horror Stories







I work at Spirit Halloween in a seasonal position. We aren’t allowed to let customers try on accessories in my store because people spend way too much time playing with them and goofing around in the dressing rooms while we have like 20 people in line. It’s also for loss prevention purposes and I have several grown-ass adults every day throw temper tantrums about not being able to try on accessories. They also complain about not being able to try on wigs inside the dressing rooms and other various things that need to stay wrapped. Also, someone peed in our carpeted dressing rooms today, so that was fun.


I have worked as a courtesy clerk in the most successful grocery store in New England for about two months now. At first, I hated the job, I dreaded going in to the workplace, blah blah blah. It progressively got less worse, until 2 days ago. I worked with possibly the worst cashier on the history of the planet. I don’t know how it is at other grocery stores, but here at mine, the cashier puts things in areas on the belt, delicate items on one side cleaning products, bread, eggs, they all have their own piece of the loading dock to go inside of a bag. Also cashiers are required to put stickers on over sized items as a proof of purchase, these items do not go in bags. Now imagine a cashier who doesn’t do any of these required things. 
Not only does she not categorize any items, she buries me in grocery. And if I can’t bag as fast as she’s whipping stuff down the lane (which I never can) and it starts to get all clogged up? She turns on my conveyor belt, which crushes boxes, plastic things of fruit, anything that can be crushed will be crushed, I try to put these items into categories so that they won’t be crushed, but there is just no way, she throws it (I’m literally talking throw, she flicks items off the scanner, even fruits and vegetables) items at me and there is no way to bag any of it coherently. After she throws all this stuff at me she stands there, because she now has a 5 minute break where the customer is watching me and wondering why the fuck this is taking so long, while she just stands there and does nothing. Yes, she doesn’t bag anything except the eggs, and if I am lucky the bread. 
Referring back to the stickers, she doesn’t put them on anything that she is required to put them on. I mean I know that milk doesn’t go in a bag but sometimes the customer specifically requests that some items that are usually put in bags, not be put in bags. Normal cashiers would slap a sticker on the item right then and there, for the convenience of me and the customer. But no, there is no such thing with this cashier. 
I dread large orders, and I usually don’t unless its 30 minutes to closing time and I am wondering why people couldn’t have done this earlier. But large orders with this cashier is a living nightmare.


I work in the apparel department of a store. Now admitedly, our call in sytem for customers leaves something to be desired. You call in and pick which department you need (food, home and apparel). Then you pick which section. In the apparel department we have Shoes, Cosmetics, Accessories, Womens, Mens and Childrens, but the only option when calling are cosmetics shoes and apparel. If you pick apparel, it goes to all of the apparel phones. My phone rings and I see it is a customer calling from outside the store. I answer with the typical “Thank you for calling _______, this is Dustin. How can I help you?(I’ve been asked nicely not to reveal what store I work for)
“Men’s clothing”
I was responsible for taking the men’s calls,(and all of them really since everyone else was either on lunch or break) so I said: “That’s me, what can I help you with?”
“Men’s clothing!”
“Yes, that’s me, is there something I can help you with?”
“Mens. Clothing.” this time with much more emphasis.
“I’m in the Men’s department, what can I help you with?”
“What?! Transfer me over to someone who speaks english.”
I was the only one available to take a call, so I responded with. “Okay.”, and I put him on hold for a second. I picked up the call again and this time said “Men’s apparel”.
“Hi yeah, I was looking for a pair of shorts.”
I proceed to find this pair of shorts and I put it on hold for him.
“Who was that other guy?” He says.
I say “Somebody just transferred me a call, I’m not sure who.”
“Oh, okay”
He never came to pick up the shorts.


I was working at a national sporting goods chain. The store sells guns and ammo. The store does not receive either item as a return or exchange for legal and liability reasons.
Four people were working: A seasoned, young, female cashier, myself (a young, female supervisor), a female manager, and a brand new, quite young, male associate. 
Old Guy: I would like to return this ammunition.
Cashier: I’m sorry, we don’t accept ammunition in returns. It’s the law. Our return policy is on the back of your receipt.
Old Guy: HEM HAW. I want to talk to your supervisor.
*I turn around*
Me: Sir, she is right. We don’t take ammo back in. It’s the law. It could also present substantial liability issues for the company. I’m sorry, but we can’t return your ammo.
Old Guy: *Anger has risen* Get me your manager!
*Manager comes up, story is relayed*
Manager: They are right, sir, no returns on ammo. We cannot make exceptions for legal reasons.
Old Guy was quite upset by this point. He was clearly not leaving anytime soon. He was going on about how we don’t know anything and he didn’t do anything to the ammo etc. I saw the new associate walking up to see what the commotion was about. I walked to meet him and relayed the return policy to him before he reached the conversation.
Old Guy saw him and seized on him.
Old Guy: Can I return this ammo? These three say I can’t!
Associate: No. [Exact same things we’d been saying the whole time]
Old Guy: Oh. *To the three women* Why didn’t you just say that?


The phone rang about five minutes before the store was supposed to open. I was in the back room and was the only employee there. I figured I might as well answer it since I had nothing better to do and it might be the manager making sure I was there. It was a customer.
Customer: Hey, I just wondered what time you guys open?
Me: Oh, we open in about five minutes actually.
Customer: Oh OK, could you tell me if you have this certain type of cable in? (He gave me a name I didn’t recognize)
Me: I’m not sure what that is. What type of plug does it have on the end?
Customer: Actually, you know what? I’ll just bring it in when you open. I’m right outside the store anyway.
Yes, he was literally standing right outside the door when I went to unlock it a few minutes later. He didn’t bother to check the hours on the door, he just thought he’d go ahead and call.


Staring me down won’t get me to check someone out faster, in fact, if you dare stare at me and I catch you twice-I’ll go slower and make small talk with the customer being helped. Cuz I can.


Customer: “But you MUCH bigger girl than me so I can’t wear that.”





And the customer’s first question is,”Is this the Juniors department?”


Here is a list of things to say/do (or not) when encountering a retail employee:
  • When you’re checking out, get the hell off of your cell phone. I’m a person, and you’re being rude.
  • Do NOT interrupt when I’m helping someone else. I will get to you, but they were here first.
  • Fuck all of you…

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