11 September 2013

SELF MOTIVATION - How to Behave Around Those You Don't Like











Most people have at one time or another been faced with the awkward situation of dealing with someone that likes them a lot more than they like the other person. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with the situation, hopefully, without hurting their feelings. Your objective is to minimize your interaction with the target person with as much graciousness and tact as you can afford.


Steps

  1. 1
    Ask yourself whether or not you may have overlooked some quality or trait in the person that you may admire or be interested in. We can often dismiss someone before we have really given them a fair chance, and it would be a loss if that were the case. All of us make mistakes and perhaps you may be able to find some common ground with them. But even so, you may decide not, or that you just don't have the time to cultivate a new friendship right now.


  2. 2
    Do not feel guilty that you don't share the same feelings as the other person. We don't click the same with some people as we do with others, and before you can properly handle the situation it is imperative that you realize that it is Ok that you don't like them. It does not make you a bad person, and it doesn't necessarily mean you think they are a bad person either.


  3. 3
    Be very subtle at first; this works more often than not. If someone wants to get together with you, to spend time with you, or to hang out together, merely tell them that you are not available. If this is done every time they ask you, most people will get the hint and move on. This extends to phone calls as well. If this person calls you, be polite, but keep it short. Don't volunteer very much information about what you are up to, or what it going on, just tell them that you are very busy right now, or in the middle of something, and that you would like to talk with them at another time. You don't have to lie to them and tell them you will call them back later or the next day, if you don't intend to do so.


  4. 4
    Avoid situations where you know you will have to spend time with this person. If you do find yourself in such a situation, try to excuse yourself and go to another group of people, or try to bring another person into the situation to deflect from your discomfort.


  5. 5
    Tell your target that although you think he or she is a nice person, you really don't feel that you have a lot in common, and you don't want to waste his or her time. This isn't being hurtful, it's being honest. It's only after you have tried to give this person the hint and they haven't taken it, or have ignored it altogether, that this step applies. Ultimately this type of thing is somewhat harsh, and bruises people's egos. This will possibly have the opposite effect of having your target end up disliking you, but it is important to communicate how you feel if all other methods haven't worked.


  6. 6
    Communicate what is going on with others around you if your conversation still doesn't get the job done. Gather the sympathies and collective thoughts from those that are close to you and develop a strategy for dealing with the person. Most likely you have someone in common with this person who can help intercede on your behalf. Even though most people don't always act with the best intentions and thought, most of us want to do so, and it may take more than yourself to make these things happen. With any luck, your person will move along to someone else who can provide them with the friendship that they need and desire.



EditTips

  • Treat people with the same respect that you would want not just for yourself, but for your son or your daughter, your mother or for your best friend.
  • If they do something bad to you, don't let them get away with it. Show them that you are not to be messed with.
  • It's ok not to like everyone, but do take it as a compliment.

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