PEOPLE - Why do people blame others?

How many time have you blamed others?

and how many times other blamed you for something you never done?

Blaming others have been the easiest way to escape from situations and giving excuses is the perfect partner of the blame game.

Why do people blame others?

Is it because they want to hide their own weaknesses?

or are they using blame to excuse their bad behavior?

Unfortunately, blame is like anger in that it dulls one sense of empathy. It allows a person to act in a hurtful way to another human being. 

It may also be an act to override their disability and lacking of self control.

Blaming is a habit to hide self weaknesses and to show someone is weaker.


Elliot D. Cohen, Ph.D. in his article Published in http://www.psychologytoday.com on July 29, 2012" Stop Playing the Blame Game" described 'The Irrationality of the Four Blame Game Claim' as follows:

Someone Else Must Always Be to Blame

Clearly, the first of these beliefs is false because in many cases a negative situation is not really the fault of anyone, or anyone in particular. For example, traffic accidents can be “true accidents”; people sometimes don’t get along or like each other because of personality conflicts; sometimes people come in contact with a virus and catch it to no fault of anyone. 

People can suffer heart attacks or get cancer without it being someone else’s false. Indeed,

when people play the blame game, they often engage in further irrational thinking in order to justify blaming others. For example, a client once exclaimed, “It’s my wife's fault I caught that nasty bug because the night before I got sick, she made me stay up to the wee hours watching that dumb video she rented." But how could someone possibly ever prove that he wouldn’t have gotten sick had he gotten more sleep? Post hoc ergo propter hoc: Just because one event followed the other doesn’t mean the first caused the second. The fallacy is classic but it’s a lot easier to cast blame than to be scientific. The blame game is a breeding ground for unscientific, unsupportable blame claims!

Losing Respect for the Blameworthy

The second belief of the blame game is also irrational because it confuses the deed with the doer. Here it is not simply “what you did was wrong.” Rather, it is that you as a person have fallen from good graces. You are less of a person for your failing and hence less worthy of respect; it is personal; you are stigmatized for it; looked down upon; you are less than you were before you faltered. If you are blameworthy then you are less worthy of respect. It’s a cardinal rule of playing the game.

But, as we know, games are not always realistic. Even if someone does something wrong, this doesn’t mean that the person himself is bad or deserves less respect as a person. If this were the case, then we would all shed our respectability because we all exercise indiscretion and make some poor choices in the course of life. So we really oughtn’t to damn the doer just because we are inclined to damn the deed. What’s true of the part is not necessarily true of the whole. It’s a simple rule of reality—and life.

Treating them with Disrespect

The use of the silent treatment, personal attacks, and the use of force are all classic ways to alienate people and to shut down the avenue for meaningful interpersonal communication whereby disagreements can be rationally addressed. The blame game, however, does not aim at constructive resolution of disagreements; instead it aims at some vague, unrealistic, and negativistic goal of making sure that people get what they deserve. This game plan get us nowhere in building fulfilling interpersonal relationships. Instead it tends to perpetuate malcontent among all concerned.

No Flies on Me

Much of this malcontent has to do with the refusal to take personal responsibility. People make mistakes and engage in regrettable actions. But by failing to take personal responsibility the road to constructive change is blocked. This refusal is piloted by the belief that somehow it is not okay to make mistakes. Better to blame others than to admit culpability. For, making mistakes means being flawed and being flawed means being unworthy of respect.

But what is really flawed is this unrealistic demand for perfection. While people are not perfect they can learn from their mistakes—but only if they admit them and change their behavior in the future. Unfortunately, the blame game looks outside oneself to cast blame. It is never me in any significant way; it is rather the other guy who is to blame. Blame me? Hell no! No flies on me!