Sadly enough, once you become a parent, you become hyper-aware of the presence of child predators. Every fear and paranoia increases and every headline examined. A recent case of abducted teen, Hannah Anderson, who fortunately was rescued, is a prime example of every parent’s nightmare come true. The victim knew the kidnapper as a family friend.
According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, more than 800,000 children go missing each year in the United States. Even though out of the 800,000 missing, 99 percent are found, the traumatic experience of being abducted and/or abused can last a lifetime.
This is why former FBI profiler Clint Van Zandt has dedicated a portion of his career to educating parents on how their children can avoid dangerous situations and even escape a kidnapper.
Just as you educate your child to use the bathroom, clean their room or gain a particular life skill, Van Zandt asserts you should provide direct and clear instruction how to avoid abduction and abuse.
The following are steps you can take to safeguard your child:
1. Never, ever get into anyone’s car, unless parents have given permission. This includes people you may know — such as an aunt, uncle, friend, teacher, coach, etc. The reason for this is simple: the majority of children who are abused or abducted are done so by a family member or an acquaintance.
Pay attention to cars that may be following you. Don’t ever approach a strangers car, even if they say they need directions or assistance. Let your child know that adults should ask adults for directions or for help.
2. Immediately get away from a person who tries to take you somewhere. Run away and/or scream and tell to direct attention to the situation. Use the phrase, “This person is not my father (or mother)” or “This person is a stranger and is trying to kidnap me!” When you escape, run toward a group of people and tell them what has happened.
3. Use the buddy system. This means always going places with a friend or sibling. Going places alone can be very dangerous. While the buddy system is a must, they should also be instructed to ask for permission to leave. As a parent, you should always know where your child is going and how to get a hold of them.
4. Never go into anyone’s home unless you get permission. Demand that your child always tell you if they plan to go into someone’s home — this includes neighbors, relatives, and their friends. Get to know your child’s friend’s parents and neighbors, and listen to your gut when it tells you their home should be avoided.
5. Beware when a person tells you to keep a “special secret.” Explain to your child that when an adult, teenager, or other child requests that they keep a secret, it is strange behavior. Create a relationship with your child in which he or she is willing to share their thoughts and experiences. Let them know that no matter what they tell you, you will always love and support them. Inspire them to tell you when someone makes them feel uncomfortable or strange.
6. Nobody should ever touch you in areas covered by a bathing suit. An excellent way to explain areas of the body that are off-limits to adults, teens, and other children is to use areas covered by a bathing suit as the boundary. Clearly communicate to them what is acceptable and what isn’t, and once again reveal to them how important it is for them to share when something strange occurs.
7. It is perfectly alright to stay “no” to adults. It is quite common for children to root themselves in the idea that adults have the ultimate power in most any situation.Teach your child to stand up to behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable. Reveal the difference between being disrespectful and having self-respect.
The key to your child’s success in a dangerous situation is education and practice. Van Zandt suggests that you even practice having your child yell. Predators usually gravitate toward the helpless. The stronger and more assertive your child, the less chance they will be a victim.
And finally, as mentioned prior, it is vital that you create a relationship with your child that inspires sharing. Let them know you are their advocate and protector. This alone can make all the difference in the world.
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