Article by Kavya Parnami
When two people separate, it not only affects their lives but also have an everlasting impact on the lives of the people related with them and most importantly that of their children. Divorce possesses a great impact on children may it be negative or positive depending upon the nature of the children as how they will take it and also on the situations prevailing at that phase of time. It is the duty of the parents to try everything possible in their hands to keep the child out of the reasons leading to divorce and also from the consequences of the divorce. Parents should take care that the child will not feel that he is guilty of the separation of his or her parents as this guilt can ruin his or her thinking and thereby life. This article consists of the top ten affects of divorce on children. Every divorced or will be divorced parent must go through this article so that they can prevent their child from going through all these situations by always supporting their child, being there for him or her whenever he or she needs, giving the child with all their love and care and most importantly by not making the child ever think that the divorce of the parents is the child’s fault. Parents should never let their children notice the differences and fights existing between them to forbid their child from getting hurt.
10. LOSE TEMPER EASILY
Usually after the divorce of the parents or during the procedure, when the child sees so much of fights in the house, he or she becomes irritated. This anger and frustration developing inside the child makes him or her lose temper very often and very easily. All the anger that the child is possessing inside him or her comes out in the form of shouting at other may it is family or friends. The child at that condition is not able to tolerate anything which is not according to his or her convenience and becomes aggressive for small things. Even pranks played on the child can provoke his or her anger.
9. START BREAKING RULES
Having seen so much of arguments between the parents, the child also develops an attitude of back answering to his or her parents. The child stops listening to the parents and do things according to his or her own will. He or she starts making his or her own rules and does not listen to anything which the parents say. Coming late at night, going out without informing, bunking classes, arguing with everyone and basically breaking every single rule made by the parents, becomes the hobby of the child. The child fundamentally completely follows the principle that “Rules are meant to be Broken”.
8. STARTS ISOLATING
Children also start isolating from everyone after the separation of their parents. They do not like constant questioning of everyone that what happened, why their parents were having fights, were their parents involved with some other person and many more such questions which make them uncomfortable and awkward. Also, continuous sympathy of their relatives and friends makes them feel uneasy and thus to avoid all such situations where they may get themselves in a disquieting state, they prefer to be left all alone where there is no one to disturb them. This isolation also possesses an adverse affect on their health.
7. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
This is human tendency to think of suicide when the problems in life exceed the saturation limit. Everyone have problems but only a few possess the courage to deal them and overcome them. Adults are matured enough to remove the suicidal thoughts that comes to their mind as they know that committing suicide will not only affect them but will also destroy the lives of the people who love them. They know their responsibilities and thus are able to withdraw such thoughts. Even after having so much maturity, many young people commit suicide, so when we think of the children dealing with such situations, their tendency of committing suicide is much higher as they do not have develop decision making power. Since divorce of the parents creates so much tension and stress in the life of the children, many of the children think of committing suicide.
6. HEALTH AND SLEEP PROBLEMS
It is very obvious that stress leads to many health problems and that is why many children have deteriorating health when their parents separate. Because of dramatic changes in life and due to significant stress that they possess, they are more susceptible to illness as compared to other children. Loss of constant adult supervision and a safe environment are the most common consequences of divorce which reduce the availability of those factors which contributes to good health. Children also face sleep problems as all the negative thoughts instilled in them makes it difficult to sleep.
5. START SMOKING AND DRINKING
Many people believe that drinking alcohol reduces their problems. But that is just a stupid thing that those people believe who does not have the courage to deal with their problems and the ones who prefer running away from their problems. Alcohol can just make us forget our problems for some time, but it will not solve them. Children, as we know, are influenced by pear pressure many a times. Pear pressure when added with stressful life increases the probability of leading the children to smoke, drink and also sometimes getting addicted to drugs.
4. MORE CHANCES OF GETTING DIVORCED
A child learns what he sees is a very popular saying. When all a child sees is his or her parents fighting, arguing with each other, not respecting each other and blaming each other for everything, then this is all a child learns. The chances of getting divorced of such a child, when he or she grows up is more than the one who has not faced such problems in life. Also, sometimes, children just stop believing in love and marriage because of all the hardships they have faced and thus never let anyone come close to them emotionally.
3. HIGHER RISK OF STROKE
Studies have been proved that children whose parents have been divorced are at higher risk of strokes. Research conducted in University Of Toronto has proved that there is a strong link between divorce and risk of strokes. It is not that divorce cause strokes, but there exists an association between the both according to the research. Breaking up of relations, changes a child physiology and also leads to more exposure to stress which thereby increases hypertension therefore causing strokes.
2. POOR ACADEMICS
Children of the divorced parents are said to have fallen behind their classmates who live in a stable family, in academics as they are more likely to suffer low self esteem, anxiety and stress. There are even chances that they may have to drop out of school if the parent who has the custody of the child is relocating. Changing of schools again and again affects that particular time in which a child must graduate.
1. RELAXED LIFE
All the points stated above are the negative impacts of divorce on children. But as every coin has two sides, there is a positive impact also which can make the life of the children more relaxing. It depends on the parents, how they handle the situation and not let their children getting affected. A child’s perspective in seeing things also plays an important role in dealing with the problem. If mother and father are happier as individuals, their children will also be happy and will do much better. Divorce also resolves all the tension out of the house making the child relaxed. Sharing of custody of the child, give the kids the opportunity to experience each parent as a competent and full parent. When parents model that they will be in a satisfying and supportive relationship for their kids even after the divorce, it will definitely give a positive end result.
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