COURTESY - The lost art of "Hello, how are you today"

The lost art of "Hello, how are you today"

by uptownbrown

Are good manners a lost art?

Have we really come to the point in our society that we no longer feel the need to greet or be greeted to get what we need? There once was a time when you entered a store and were made to feel as if the store operator had been waiting for you to come in, not just anyone, but you! "Hello, how are you today" was a common, almost mandatory greeting. In today’s world it seems we struggle to get any type of greeting. Have we really slipped all the way down to "what do ya want"? Is this all we have time for anymore? Are manners really a lost art? Is it just because our parents are not behind us with a hand raised ready to slap us in the back of the head if we are not polite? Why have we strayed so far form the simplicities of having to be polite, or even simply wanting to be!

I was brought up on a small farm in northern Vermont in a time when manners were enforced. When I say enforced, I mean that hand raised poised to set me straight, if I was not courteous. Not just to those in my immediate family, no not just them! It was expected that you treated everyone in a manner such that you were seen as a polite young man, oh and if you didn’t, there would certainly be consequences! It was just common place, please, thank you, yes sir, and no mam, these words could almost always start you out on the right foot. Now we say yes mam to the lady on the other side of the counter and we often are looked at like we just cursed at them! When I was brought up mam was not a sign of how old you were but a polite term said to all women. I don’t know how many times I have been reminded after the choice of mam that “mam? Really do I look that old ”? If you would like to see a look of disbelief throw a thank you mam! At the twenty something girl on the other side of the counter. It has become, can’t believe I am saying this, but an unfriendly term towards a young lady! What the hell has happened to all of us! Why must we streamline, speed pass, and dumb down everything for the sake of time and efficiency? To the point where it’s ok to not be polite and god forbid have a bit of small talk? Who is to blame for this? Parenting? Society? Schooling? Pick your poison they all play a role.

Parenting, now maybe that’s the lost art. Just seems as though things were done differently back when I was a young man. My parents brought me up right, or at least I think that now. As we all know when we were kids there was nothing worse than listening to your parents and pretending that they were right about everything. Looking back now, holy crap they were!! I was taught at a very early age that there was a certain way that things would be done and a particular way to treat others. I mean really what parent doesn't start word training with please, thank you, yes sir, and no mam. Maybe not in these exact dialects but in some form. Manners were one of the first things that a new parent would teach, and you didn't even need the “guide to being a super parent” book to help with this one. It was something that came as second nature, something that was like knowing that letting little Jimmy jump off the roof or play with matches wasn't the right thing to do. Some things are just common sense right? If so, what the hell has happen to this generation? Not only are kids jumping off roofs and playing with matches, but it is next to impossible to get a pleasantry out of today’s work force? What the hell! When did this happen? Where did I go wrong? My parents brought me up better than this! That’s what you’re all saying right now. So maybe parenting is not the only fault? For arguments sake let’s just say it’s not the parenting, then what? What could it be?

It has to be how we are taught in school right? It’s the teachers! They are the culprits here, I knew they couldn't be trusted. I tried to tell my parents that when I was back in high School but they didn’t listen. “Mom I told you that Mr. Teacher was a real ass” I said, “why” mom asked. “He’s asking way too much of me!” I exclaimed. “How’s that” asked mom “He wants me to do my homework and hand it in on time! He wants me to engage with the class and explain how I feel! He wants me to treat others who have a differing opinion with respect! And to top it all off he wants me to answer him with yes sir, no sir!! I ain't gonna do it cause I don’t owe Mr. Teacher nothing” I said. “This is because you already know everything about everything right?” she politely asks. “Yea and its bad enough that I got to act like that around here mam”. Now this is when the raised hand ready to correct comes in, you may want to look away. My parents never did use that hand as more than a jester, but that was enough to create a moment of fear and reflection. Soon you would be sent down the right path with your tail between your legs. The moral here is that our teachers, as hard as it was to believe then, were simply trying to perfect upon our parents earlier lessons. Look back at it today and you can see that schooling was always a bit smoother on the kids who were respectful, right? Ok so this answers some of our questions, and raises a few more. What is the problem, if not parenting or schooling then what could it be?

Our parents brought us up knowing the commons laws of treating others with respect. Our teachers further imprinted this into our way of life. So where has it gone wrong, has society come to the point that “what do you want” is more customary than “hello how are you today”. Why? Why? Why? Is time so precious that we no longer have a moment to be polite? Do we really have so little time for the person on the other side of the counter, that we need not be polite? I say it shouldn’t matter if you’re in a hurry or not. Manners should be necessity not time related event! Yea I get it, we are all busy! Bla Bla Bla, ya know what I'm busy to, work, parenting, shopping, ball practice, and I could go on and on but ya know what I always have time for “hello how are you today”! There is really no good excuse or answer for why we have lost the fine art of “hello how are you today”, but it makes it no less important to return to a era when we had time to be polite. If I could show you the shocked and awed faces of my customers when I ask such a question, you would see just how far we have fallen. Such surprise that someone has time for them? It shouldn’t matter whether it is the suit & tie type or the dude in sweatpants, we should always take a moment too be polite to gain a sense of comfort with them. And hopefully next time when they are faced with the choice, maybe just maybe, they will remember the “hello, how are you today” guy opposed to the “what do ya want“ guy from down the street.